the thought was crushed into pieces...

just when i thought i wanna redeem myself during the president cup..
my brother's graduation is one day before it...in KELANTAN!



sometimes when things like this happens..
i thought of it as sign..
a sign that maybe i really am not meant to join taekwondo..
and that i should throw away this passion of mine...



no one agrees with me joining it..especially my family..
instead of supporting me..they go on laughing
underestimating me..saying i'm no good and i suck..
they barely go and watch me..they barely even watch this..
but yet they think that they know everything about it to make them say
I'M NO GOOD..



even sending me to training is such a burden to them..
anything that has to do with this is a burden to them..
i always have to fight just to go there..



why??
i mean..
WHY???



when she plays football..u guys go on and cheering for her...
and not laugh at her..
every injury she gets..u guys would treat her like a baby..taking her to a doctor or helping her with it
but when i got an injury..u guys don't care that much..u want me to die in front of u in order for you to care?



who doesn't cry when they lost..
and when i cried u guys were laughing at me..
but when she cried u guys were giving all these words of wisdom..
its really unfair..



WHY??
because i'm not good enough?
because i don't play international level like she does??
why??
i just want to know..
but how can i know when everytime i ask it..u guys start saying this and that...



i guess maybe its an answer i'll never know..
and maybe i should quit for good..